Newest Jokes

1 . Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 A.M. for an early flight to Sydney.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 A.M.".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00 A.M., and that he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed....

It said... "It's 5.00 A.M., wake up!"

2. Come Again?

Monica L. had taken some clothes in to be cleaned. The attendant was an old man, hard of hearing. She was telling the man what she wanted, and was holding a dress while talking. The old man put a hand up to his ear, and said, "Come again?" "No," said Monica, "It's mustard this time!"

3. Tony Blair

Whats the difference between Tony Blair
and a tampon?

Nothing there both stuck up cunts!!!

4. Dog

What does Bill Clinton and his dog have in common?

They both go after rotten pussy.

5 .Cops Test

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."